Distracted by hummingbirds

I get up on weekday mornings at 5 a.m. to drive dh to his bus. Sometimes I return and crawl back into bed but most times I stay up. This morning I felt very reflective as I pulled into our parking lot. The colors in the sky were lightening from deep velvety midnight blue to a light royal purple. The moon, full yesterday, had lost its hard edges. I was listening to a beautiful CD we have called "Heavensong: Music of Contemplation and Light." My favorite pieces are "The Prayer" and "Alleluia" both of which I listened to as I sat quietly in the car, no one else awake, no lights in the condo windows. It was 52º out, a reminder that Fall is coming.

I had planned to do some planning and writing this morning before going to a 9:00 a.m. Nia class. But as I was sitting in the livingroom Cleo suddenly got very still and started making "ack ack" noises. I looked up at the window and this is what I saw:

I was so excited! I had bought the hummingbird feeder a few months ago and hadn't put it up. I guess I was a bit self-defeating thinking that perhaps these tiny birds wouldn't fly all the way up to the third floor. But I was wrong, as we so often are when we self defeat. As you can see from these photos, they did indeed find their way up to the third floor and for the past hour have delighted both Cleo and myself.




And I find yet another reminder about my healthy, mindful eating. I found this entry in Wikipedia for hummingbirds: "Like bees, they are able to assess the amount of sugar in the nectar they eat; they reject flower types that produce nectar that is less than 10% sugar and prefer those whose sugar content is stronger. Nectar is a poor source of nutrients, so hummingbirds meet their needs for protein, amino acids, vitamins, minerals, etc. by preying on insects and spiders, especially when feeding young." (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hummingbird)
I make my hummingbird nectar with a 1:8 ratio of sugar. So they like that. But they don't eat only nectar as the article says. They inherently know what to eat to sustain them. And they can't gulp their food of course :) So those are two reminders for me today--eat those things that are GOOD sources of nutrients and sip, sip, small bites, small bites.

Reflections on chewing and other "things"

I noticed two things yesterday as I was focusing on chewing my food more completely. One is that I tend to take too much into my mouth at once. Somewhere along the line I have lost the notion of "sipping" a drink be it herbal tea, herbal coffee, water, whatever. I take great gulps and end up with so much liquid in my mouth that I have to swallow some quickly. The taste slides across my buds so quickly that they say "Hey, what was that? If you want us to notice food you have to give us more time." The same with food. I took a bite of chicken at dinner last night and it filled my entire mouth. So I chewed and chewed and chewed and felt like Bossie the cow.

However, this leads to the other thing I noticed. That once I DID have food or drink in my mouth for longer than one millisecond, I started feeling impressions about it. The taste, the texture, and, more, the feeling that what I was eating was nourishing my body. When the food whizzes down the gullet that fast, there's no sense of what it is actually doing for my body. But the mouth is the beginning of nourishment. For example, this morning I had two apricots at breakfast. They were soft and juicy. My first sense as I bit into one was of coolness, of moisture, then of denseness. As I chewed the apricot, I felt the pulp releasing its goodness. I think as I pursue this I will start realizing more and more about food; seeing it in a different way. Oh, and conversely to a "good" sense of food, last night I popped a piece of fresh--at least I thought it was fresh--mozzarella into my mouth. But as I began to chew I almost gagged. It had gone off and I couldn't get it out of my mouth fast enough. Now if I had taken just a small piece I would still have realized that it was off. And it wouldn't have filled my entire mouth with that sour taste.

Now for the other "things." I read a lot of pop psychology books. I use the term "pop" because I don't read textbooks (sorry Sue.) Rather, I read what someone has distilled from a textbook. For example I read Hollis to try to understand Jung. I read the Franklin Covey folks (Covey, Smith) to try to understand how to apply my religious beliefs to my life in a more effective way--that is, that I can attain the type of inner peace and happiness that the Lord spoke of.

I have been off-and-on reading Geneen Roth's "Women Food and God." I mentioned that in a blog several months ago and I still haven't finished the book. It's not a page turner for me although what she says is good and worthwhile. The issue is that I have been reading other books at the same time and ironically they all say the same thing as Roth is saying. Even "Eat Pray and Love," which I read for my book club, reminded me of Roth, reminded me of Hollis, reminded me of a book on the enneagram that I am also currently reading. What they all say is that we are not just our bodies. That within us, around us, dwells divinity. They use different terms and advocate slightly different approaches--although all agree on meditation/stillness/prayer--b
ut basically they all say that there is something more to us (and, no it's not 30 pounds) than we usually focus on. And if we can somehow touch that divinity by becoming more aware of ourselves, what we think and what we do, we will become more at peace, have more self esteem, etc., etc.

And so I come back to chewing. In the act of chewing I become mindful. I think of what I am putting into my body. I say a prayer of gratitude for food and drink.

It is truly amazing how life can become more whole and we see life's pattern when we stop and chew.

Turn toward the light

I read a snip somewhere recently that caused me to think: "When you turn toward the light, the shadow falls behind you." In this photo, taken on a solitary hike this past Tuesday, I was facing away from the light. And when I looked at the shadow on the ground, I thought of that quote. I thought about how when we are down we talk about walking in shadow and how it literally is a "turning away from the light." The light of our own being, the light of God and so on. Hmmm. Just one of the many things that occur to me when I am hiking.

To reassure all of those wonderful friends who encouraged me to keep moving and keep hiking while I wait for the test results, yes, I am hiking more than ever. I feel best when I am hiking actually. I wonder how I can have anything wrong with me when I can hike so far and so strongly :) And if there is something "wrong" it surely is a way that I can put things to rights. I am not losing any weight from it, in fact this week I have gained two pounds. But that's not why I hike anymore anyway. I hike because I love it.

On the same hike where I took the photo above, I also snapped the vista that was in front of me:


and then this tiny beautiful miracle of butterflies "nesting" on a wildflower:


Seeing the big picture and the small, that's another one of those blessings that I have gained through hiking. Sometimes my mind is far away in the past or the future, puzzling something out. But then I see something and I am back in the present, glorying in the wonder of the world and remembering to be grateful for the now.

Gathering Parade 1

Eat Love Pray

In honor of the book I am feverishly trying to finish before my book club meets tomorrow night, I am simmering (not boiling) some fresh spinach & ricotta ravioli for lunch. I am currently in Elizabeth Gilbert's "Italy" phase of her year-long journey.

I am enjoying but at the same time wondering why I have never written a best selling novel about my various journeys. Well, the simple answer is that I am not a professional writer with connections to the publishing world where an editor would say "Oh, wow, can't wait for your manuscript about your trip through the UK! Send it to me right away!" That's not to put any blame on anyone else. Nope, if I had really had the guts, the passion, to get published, I could probably have been. Or at least have made a valiant attempt so that I could sit here now and say "I just don't have what it takes to be a writer." I can't say that. Many people who read my blogs or my e-mails say I am a wonderful writer. So did professors when I was slogging through my various degrees. No, I have what it takes to be a WRITER, I just don't have the drive to become a PUBLISHED writer. I wonder if I ever will.

As I read Gilbert's book, I think about my own journey to the UK last year. Much of it is on this blog. The difference between what she has written and what I have--so far--is that she writes about EVERYTHING. Every little minutiae, every conversation and observation. That's why her book is a few hundred pages and my blog is barely 50. And she writes about things that I would not really want to bare to the world. I like to stay in safely historical or impersonal terms. I keep my interior feelings and thoughts about people to myself. For the most part. What inspires me about her book, however, is that there are many things that I don't write about that I could, that I would probably enjoy writing about. If I would let myself :)

Short trip to Taos

This past Friday dh and I decided to take a trip to Taos. We intended on doing a morning hike along the rim of the Rio Grande Gorge and then looking at Mexican tile for our old dining room table and also looking at a back cushion for a living room chair. As Taos is an hour away and the highway to Taos is twisty and very dark at night, we decided to book a b & b overnight. After reviewing various comments on TripAdvisor--SO helpful nowadays--we decided on the American Artists B & B.

On our way to Taos, we remembered that there was another tile place just past Espanola so we turned in there. Although they had plenty of Talavera tile, the patterns seemed too busy to me for a dining room table. But we DID find a really nice buffet that will complete our small dining area in the condo. We put a deposit on it and said that we would be back for it next Saturday as we will need to have the back of the Escape completely empty to fit it in. Back in the car, we realized we had taken over an hour at the store and it was now almost 11 o’clock. Rather late to be starting off on the 7.5 mile hike I had originally planned. So we found a different trail that was only 2.5 miles round trip. It was indeed quite hot and dry. About 90º but there was at least a lovely breeze. And it was fairly flat as well. Here are some photos:

This is the usual warning on trails in our area--don’t leave valuables in the car. We were the only car in the parking area when we first came. I unzipped my hiking pants so that they became shorts and was just starting off when dh reminded me that we were in rattlesnake country. Ulp. But I decided not to zip back up again, relying on my poles and watching carefully where I was stepping. The only reptile we saw during the hike, however, was a lizard.

The cliffs around the gorge are mainly basalt as you can see from the lizard photo and the photo below.

I am not a geologist so I can’t tell you much more about basalt than that it is a volcanic rock. Besides, this isn’t an essay on geology anyway. After about .75 mile traipsing along the rocky trail and avoiding the cacti, we came up to the rim and were able to look down on the Rio Grande (big river in Spanish in case you didn’t know.) We were so hot and it looked sooo inviting that if the gorge hadn’t been so steep we might have clambered down and stuck our feet (or more) into the water.

We continued on for another .75 mile, this time passing through masses of chamisa. It is getting ready to flower in another month. It’s beautiful when it does but also unfortunately one of the many New Mexico plants I am allergic too. Pass the Claritin please next month because I am not going to stop hiking.

When we arrived at the end of the trail, we had a fantastic view of the Rio Grande winding its way through the gorge. It flows through Colorado, New Mexico, Texas and Mexico before it empties into the Gulf of Mexico. As with many waterways, it isn’t as “mighty” as it once was because of dams and diversions, but it is still beautiful.

We sat on the edge of the gorge for as long as we could stand the heat. There was a nice bench there but it was made of some kind of composite material--black--that felt like a frying pan. So we retraced our steps and I was very glad to see the car because (1) the clouds were building toward another monsoon and (2) there were four hawks (or maybe vultures) circling above us. I wondered what they were so interested in--us or something else. I really didn’t care to find out.

We headed into Taos and went to the other tile place. What a selection!! It took us over an hour to agree on the tile pattern. I have taken a photo of it laid out on a table there; quite anxious to see what it will look like when dh glues and grouts it.

After our selection, we celebrated with a late lunch at The Trading Post, our favorite restaurant in Taos. Then we hit Starr Interiors, a lovely shop that sells weavings from the Zapotec Indians. After another long consultation with each other and with the store owner, we chose two pillows. One is a simple bear design and the other is a long red pillow that looks beautiful on our guest bed. Now all we need are guests :)

Very tired by now, we headed for our b & b. We discovered that we had actually stayed there before many years ago. Just as we got our things inside and were relaxing on the portal, thunder boomed and forks of lightning lit the early evening sky. We sat out and watched the rain come down, the cooling of the air very welcome. Then we went inside and while dh did one of his quick sketches, I finished off an English mystery, fighting to stay awake to read the resolution. The rain drummed on the roof, as good as any lullabye.

The next morning, I awoke to George, the peacock cum alarm clock.

The storm had passed, the air was fresh and clear. In the distance, the mountain was still hidden behind low lying cloud but by the time we'd had breakfast the clouds had dissipated.

We drove north from Taos to the ski area and hiked a little way along Manzanita Canyon.

It was all uphill though so we didn’t go very far on it, only about 1.5 miles or so. The trail itself was going to be 6 miles and once again we just didn’t feel up to it. But we WILL return because the views from the top are supposed to be magnificent.

The wildflowers were beautiful.

On the way back home we stopped at the small, quaint village of Arroyo Seco. Took a photo of the “historic” church of La Santisima Trinidad, built in 1834. Old for the United States but compared to the churches I saw in England, “modern.”

A bright entrance to one of the shops in Arroyo Seco:

And so we returned home to Santa Fe with our purchases--except for the buffet which we will be picking up next Saturday. Saturday night we had another huge storm at home. It almost sounded like it was hailing and the thunder and lightning were extraordinary. But Sunday dawned clear and bright again. The clouds are gathering once again though so I wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t have another storm tonight. It really has greened up the desert!