Posting again here after two years

Long story about where I've been. Actually I've been blogging elsewhere but that has all disappeared so here I am again :)

It's late August 2012 and I am now living in Sierra Vista, Arizona. I don't hike as much as I used to. It's much hotter here than in Arizona and I don't have as much free time during the week either. I spend quite a bit of time with daughter and grandchildren as they live in the same town. And during the school year I substitute teach. But I still love to travel; in two weeks I will be in Northern Ireland for two weeks. I am very excited about it, to see where my grandmother was born and lived for the first 20 years of her life. And to visit Belfast, hopefully understand something more about Ireland than shamrocks, leprechauns and St. Patricks.

A fellow blogger posted the question what would I do if I won a lottery? Hmmm.... Depends on how much money was in the lottery. If it were a million dollars, I would pay off both of the houses we currently have mortgages on and are slightly underwater for. That would take (ulp) $300,000. Then I would probably continue to rent them to others until we could sell them and recoup what we lost. I would give that rent to public education in Arizona, a place which sorely needs the money. But I'd like to be like the Gates and be careful about where that money is going. I would want it to go for technology in the classroom and more counsellors.

I would like to live in the house we are currently renting or buy a house that is in the same development. If I bought another house it would cost $200,000. The house prices are reasonable (right now) and the houses a perfect size for two retired folk. Oh and of course, I would tell my husband to retire if he wanted to. That's the most important thing. He is getting mightily tired of work and perhaps if he retired he would find more fulfillment. He is close to where he could receive Social Security and I am already receiving Canada Pension. We could retire if we had zero debt.

Buying our daughter a bigger house would be nice but I would want to sit down with her and her dh and caution them about living within their means. Which could be interfering--don't really want to do that. So perhaps I would simply buy the house they are currently in and gift it to them or something. I don't know about that. I know they could use a bigger house with four small children. The kind of house she would like would be about $250,000 but they are into their current house probably about $185,000 in a mortgage. So perhaps the best thing would be to give them the money to pay off their mortgage, then they could sell it and I would top up whatever they would need to buy the $250,000 house.

The rest of the money? Put it somewhere where we could draw on it when we wanted to travel or when we heard of someone in need.

Going into October and changes

It's been over a month since I last blogged. Loads of changes in September, many of which I don't feel like going into detail over. My dgd was diagnosed with a congenital ailment that affects her adrenal system. Not life-threatening blessedly but still serious. And at the same time dh has been on a roller coaster over his job. His contract officially ends today and although he's received a new contract letter it's written in very "if there is work, there is a job" terms. Bleagh. And after multiple tests, the gastroenterologist has a partial answer for my health issues. Diverticulosis. Like dgd, it's something I will have to watch for the rest of my life, but it is not life threatening. Could escalate into diverticulitis but the key is eating more fibre. So, since the diagnosis two days ago, I have been trying to do it.

But I haven't been doing very well at it. I thought I was eating fibre but at the end of the day yesterday the total amount on my tracker was 13 g!! When the minimum should be 25. Aagh. And even at that my stomach was cramping quite a bit from the extra fibre. Did drink some herbal digestive tea and that helped tremendously. Within half an hour my stomach settled down. So this morning I had 14 g of fibre at breakfast (smoothie) and that's gone down okay so far.

Yesterday morning I hiked for 2 hours up and down hills at the Santa Fe Ski Hill--gained 900' from 10,200 to 11,100. We climbed Aspen Peak with a beautiful view of Santa Fe Baldy. I was happy to see that my buddies from the "NOT the Mountain Goat Hike" I lead on alternate Wednesdays all came to this one. And we shared a car going up so that was fun, especially as last week I "lost" a "friend" who led me to believe that only passive people would want to be friends with a person like me. These women are NOT passive! It was a tough hike as Dave's hikes usually are. I always choose to be the sweep because I like to hike at my own pace and this time there was a woman who really struggled with the climb and the altitude. So I stayed with her, watched over her. At the end of the hike, she was sitting on a picnic bench writing in her journal and saying aloud "Today Valerie saved my life." Well, not quite, but it still felt good especially after the last two weeks of this month. That's two lives I helped this past week--I helped another woman find a doc in this town (hard to find one who takes Medicare) and it turned out she had a serious infection that needed immediate treatment. So she was really grateful too. I write this to remind myself that despite what my former friend thinks (get past it Valerie) I am not a terrible person.

Photos from yesterday's hike:












The final photo is a view of Santa Fe Baldy (12,000') taken from Aspen Peak. The aspens are in the middle part of their glory. Another week or so and colder weather and they will have dropped their leaves. Just as beautiful as the Eastern colors in my opinion.

Distracted by hummingbirds

I get up on weekday mornings at 5 a.m. to drive dh to his bus. Sometimes I return and crawl back into bed but most times I stay up. This morning I felt very reflective as I pulled into our parking lot. The colors in the sky were lightening from deep velvety midnight blue to a light royal purple. The moon, full yesterday, had lost its hard edges. I was listening to a beautiful CD we have called "Heavensong: Music of Contemplation and Light." My favorite pieces are "The Prayer" and "Alleluia" both of which I listened to as I sat quietly in the car, no one else awake, no lights in the condo windows. It was 52º out, a reminder that Fall is coming.

I had planned to do some planning and writing this morning before going to a 9:00 a.m. Nia class. But as I was sitting in the livingroom Cleo suddenly got very still and started making "ack ack" noises. I looked up at the window and this is what I saw:

I was so excited! I had bought the hummingbird feeder a few months ago and hadn't put it up. I guess I was a bit self-defeating thinking that perhaps these tiny birds wouldn't fly all the way up to the third floor. But I was wrong, as we so often are when we self defeat. As you can see from these photos, they did indeed find their way up to the third floor and for the past hour have delighted both Cleo and myself.




And I find yet another reminder about my healthy, mindful eating. I found this entry in Wikipedia for hummingbirds: "Like bees, they are able to assess the amount of sugar in the nectar they eat; they reject flower types that produce nectar that is less than 10% sugar and prefer those whose sugar content is stronger. Nectar is a poor source of nutrients, so hummingbirds meet their needs for protein, amino acids, vitamins, minerals, etc. by preying on insects and spiders, especially when feeding young." (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hummingbird)
I make my hummingbird nectar with a 1:8 ratio of sugar. So they like that. But they don't eat only nectar as the article says. They inherently know what to eat to sustain them. And they can't gulp their food of course :) So those are two reminders for me today--eat those things that are GOOD sources of nutrients and sip, sip, small bites, small bites.

Reflections on chewing and other "things"

I noticed two things yesterday as I was focusing on chewing my food more completely. One is that I tend to take too much into my mouth at once. Somewhere along the line I have lost the notion of "sipping" a drink be it herbal tea, herbal coffee, water, whatever. I take great gulps and end up with so much liquid in my mouth that I have to swallow some quickly. The taste slides across my buds so quickly that they say "Hey, what was that? If you want us to notice food you have to give us more time." The same with food. I took a bite of chicken at dinner last night and it filled my entire mouth. So I chewed and chewed and chewed and felt like Bossie the cow.

However, this leads to the other thing I noticed. That once I DID have food or drink in my mouth for longer than one millisecond, I started feeling impressions about it. The taste, the texture, and, more, the feeling that what I was eating was nourishing my body. When the food whizzes down the gullet that fast, there's no sense of what it is actually doing for my body. But the mouth is the beginning of nourishment. For example, this morning I had two apricots at breakfast. They were soft and juicy. My first sense as I bit into one was of coolness, of moisture, then of denseness. As I chewed the apricot, I felt the pulp releasing its goodness. I think as I pursue this I will start realizing more and more about food; seeing it in a different way. Oh, and conversely to a "good" sense of food, last night I popped a piece of fresh--at least I thought it was fresh--mozzarella into my mouth. But as I began to chew I almost gagged. It had gone off and I couldn't get it out of my mouth fast enough. Now if I had taken just a small piece I would still have realized that it was off. And it wouldn't have filled my entire mouth with that sour taste.

Now for the other "things." I read a lot of pop psychology books. I use the term "pop" because I don't read textbooks (sorry Sue.) Rather, I read what someone has distilled from a textbook. For example I read Hollis to try to understand Jung. I read the Franklin Covey folks (Covey, Smith) to try to understand how to apply my religious beliefs to my life in a more effective way--that is, that I can attain the type of inner peace and happiness that the Lord spoke of.

I have been off-and-on reading Geneen Roth's "Women Food and God." I mentioned that in a blog several months ago and I still haven't finished the book. It's not a page turner for me although what she says is good and worthwhile. The issue is that I have been reading other books at the same time and ironically they all say the same thing as Roth is saying. Even "Eat Pray and Love," which I read for my book club, reminded me of Roth, reminded me of Hollis, reminded me of a book on the enneagram that I am also currently reading. What they all say is that we are not just our bodies. That within us, around us, dwells divinity. They use different terms and advocate slightly different approaches--although all agree on meditation/stillness/prayer--b
ut basically they all say that there is something more to us (and, no it's not 30 pounds) than we usually focus on. And if we can somehow touch that divinity by becoming more aware of ourselves, what we think and what we do, we will become more at peace, have more self esteem, etc., etc.

And so I come back to chewing. In the act of chewing I become mindful. I think of what I am putting into my body. I say a prayer of gratitude for food and drink.

It is truly amazing how life can become more whole and we see life's pattern when we stop and chew.

Turn toward the light

I read a snip somewhere recently that caused me to think: "When you turn toward the light, the shadow falls behind you." In this photo, taken on a solitary hike this past Tuesday, I was facing away from the light. And when I looked at the shadow on the ground, I thought of that quote. I thought about how when we are down we talk about walking in shadow and how it literally is a "turning away from the light." The light of our own being, the light of God and so on. Hmmm. Just one of the many things that occur to me when I am hiking.

To reassure all of those wonderful friends who encouraged me to keep moving and keep hiking while I wait for the test results, yes, I am hiking more than ever. I feel best when I am hiking actually. I wonder how I can have anything wrong with me when I can hike so far and so strongly :) And if there is something "wrong" it surely is a way that I can put things to rights. I am not losing any weight from it, in fact this week I have gained two pounds. But that's not why I hike anymore anyway. I hike because I love it.

On the same hike where I took the photo above, I also snapped the vista that was in front of me:


and then this tiny beautiful miracle of butterflies "nesting" on a wildflower:


Seeing the big picture and the small, that's another one of those blessings that I have gained through hiking. Sometimes my mind is far away in the past or the future, puzzling something out. But then I see something and I am back in the present, glorying in the wonder of the world and remembering to be grateful for the now.

Gathering Parade 1

Eat Love Pray

In honor of the book I am feverishly trying to finish before my book club meets tomorrow night, I am simmering (not boiling) some fresh spinach & ricotta ravioli for lunch. I am currently in Elizabeth Gilbert's "Italy" phase of her year-long journey.

I am enjoying but at the same time wondering why I have never written a best selling novel about my various journeys. Well, the simple answer is that I am not a professional writer with connections to the publishing world where an editor would say "Oh, wow, can't wait for your manuscript about your trip through the UK! Send it to me right away!" That's not to put any blame on anyone else. Nope, if I had really had the guts, the passion, to get published, I could probably have been. Or at least have made a valiant attempt so that I could sit here now and say "I just don't have what it takes to be a writer." I can't say that. Many people who read my blogs or my e-mails say I am a wonderful writer. So did professors when I was slogging through my various degrees. No, I have what it takes to be a WRITER, I just don't have the drive to become a PUBLISHED writer. I wonder if I ever will.

As I read Gilbert's book, I think about my own journey to the UK last year. Much of it is on this blog. The difference between what she has written and what I have--so far--is that she writes about EVERYTHING. Every little minutiae, every conversation and observation. That's why her book is a few hundred pages and my blog is barely 50. And she writes about things that I would not really want to bare to the world. I like to stay in safely historical or impersonal terms. I keep my interior feelings and thoughts about people to myself. For the most part. What inspires me about her book, however, is that there are many things that I don't write about that I could, that I would probably enjoy writing about. If I would let myself :)